i want to remember this

Since this blog is as much of a baby book for me as it is an update for friends and family, I occasionally feel the need to document the details of something I want to remember forever. This phase of my life will most likely always be enshrouded by the fog of exhaustion, so it’s important to me to remember before I forget.

Bear’s most favorite game in the world right now is his game of “flip-around-on-my-stomach-during-diaper-change-and-try-to-rocket-off-the-changing-table.” As thrilling as that game may sound, it results in me having to put my cloth diapers on him upside down and nearly having a heart attack every time he lurches toward the side of the changing table. Occasionally I can grab a new toy that will occupy him while I do a diaper change at warp speed. I happened to grab this toy from Bug’s pile of toys last night:

One of Handy Manny’s faithful companions, Turner the Screwdriver.

Because he’s not a fan of me taking toys out of his hands right now, I let him keep and play with ‘ole Turner while I gave Bear his last bottle before bed. Bear’s second most favorite game in the world right now is, “I’ll-put-this-in-your-mouth-and-you-pretend-to-eat-it-and-I’ll-giggle.” He usually likes to pretend to give me his paci, and I love seeing his eyes squint in joy at the silliness of Mommy eating his paci. As he was drinking his bottle, Bear put Turner towards my mouth, and I pretended to munch on the toy (You know the drill…”Nom Nom Nom Nom Nom.”). He chuckled a little, but then my sweet nine month old got the giggles.

He would drink his milk for about five seconds, then look at me out of the corner of his eye. When he made eye contact with me, he pushed the bottle out of his mouth and belly laughed. Then I belly laughed, which made him laugh harder. After a minute of laughing, he’d get serious again and try to drink his bottle. After about five seconds, his eyes would start to shift towards me, and the entire process was repeated a good ten times. I wasn’t doing a thing but making eye contact with him, but you know how it is when you have the giggles – that’s all it takes.

I did my best to soak in every detail of that moment. We had just come home from a walk in the 95 degree weather, so his hair was all sweaty and he smelled especially baby-like. When Bear grins, he literally smiles as wide as his little mouth will let him, and all you see are his squinty eyes, cheeks, and four teeth. I took a moment to treasure the look Bear gave me when he laughed – one of trust and familiarity. It was almost like I was sharing an inside joke with my nine month old son. With each giggle spell, he leaned in towards me and we looked at each other and laughed. It was a moment of perfect sweetness.

I want to remember this forever.

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