you know, just a year later

So it’s been exactly a year and a month since I left the world of working and became a stay at home Mom. I have days when I’m wondering if I’m doing the best thing (both for my boys and our finances), but I’m mostly overwhelmed with feeling grateful that I get to see every development, every milestone, every discovery, and yes – even every tantrum. I love that my boys have a predictable schedule and aren’t being schleped around to a different place every day. I love teaching Bug how to read, and I love helping Bear balance while he learns about walking. I love that my sweet boys get to spend their days learning how to be best friends, and I love knowing how much of a presence I have in their lives.

Even with all the wonderful things that come from staying home with my boys, there are a few things I find myself missing about the work world. I miss slowly sipping on my coffee and checking my email first thing in the morning (as opposed to gulping down caffeine in between making a bottle, grabbing a sippy cup, and cleaning up spit up). I miss not having to multi-task at all times, but being able to shut out the world and focus on a task if I needed to (as opposed to what I’m currently doing – writing a blog post, making dinner, watching Handy Manny, teaching Bug to share, drinking coffee, and planning my day…all at the exact same moment). I miss definitive feedback on how I’m doing and seeing the progress I’m making (as opposed to the, “No, Mommy No!” I usually hear). I miss having co-workers to bounce ideas off of and get creative solutions from (as opposed to shooting up a quick prayer of, “Am I doing this right, God?” every hour or so). I probably most miss the camaraderie of my co-workers. I worked at a non-profit crisis pregnancy center, and we sometimes faced situations so insane we could do nothing but look at one another and say, “Is this really what we do?!” I miss expressing that I need wisdom, and within moments having five women praying with me for just that. I miss having the daily shared experience in ministry of, “this is rough,” and “this is awesome” at the same time. I mean, I still have that daily experience, but if I text those things to Preacher Man I fear he’ll think I’m half crazy. With ALL of my heart, I love staying home with these boys. Sometimes though, I miss aspects of being in the working world.

On my last day of work, my co-workers surprised me with a wonderful going away party (complete with Reese’s, Chick Fil A lemonade, and all my other favorite foods!) that included my family and sweet in-laws who were visiting for the long weekend. I’ll always remember working at the pregnancy center with fondness and affection. And even though it’s easy some days to romanticize the space, freedom, and time I had as a working Mom – the truth is that leaving my job to stay home was one of the best decisions I’ve ever made.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have coffee to finish, dinner to start, diapers to change, toys to clean up, food to feed, and potty training to do. All in the next ten minutes.


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