a letter to bear

Dear Sweet Bear,

I’m having the most difficult time believing that you really are one year old today. Reflecting over the past twelve months, I’m overwhelmed by how much joy, tenderness, and fulfillment you’ve brought into our lives. In the best ways possible, you’ve single-handedly shattered my ideas of what newborns are like and what our family of four would look like. Being your mother has been one of the most joyful privileges God has ever given to me. I’ve watched you grow from a puffy faced infant, to a tenderly curious baby, to what I see before me – an inquisitive, active, cuddly, sweet child.

I know you may not realize the depth of this statement, but I want you to know that God has already used your precious life for His purpose. Through you, He’s taught me about trusting in Him – in His faithfulness, His perfection, His timing, His plan, His love, and His wisdom. Your little life has been the catalyst of so much change, and I can’t praise God enough for using you to show us how perfectly He loves us. 

It’s been my joy to watch you grow and to see how God is molding your sweet little personality. I can remember your tiny little infant cries in the middle of the night – almost as if you were saying to me, “Mommy, I don’t want to be a bother, but I’m a little hungry. Would you mind feeding me? I promise I’ll go back to sleep quickly.” You loved (and still do!) watching our facial expressions and were so content if I could spend my day just making eye contact with you. You’ve grown so quickly and are now on the verge of walking – toddlerhood is so quickly approaching!

Since the day you were born, I’ve sung “You Are My Sunshine” as I rock you to sleep. In recent months, you’ve begun wrapping one arm around my neck, one arm around my shoulder, and laying your head sweetly on my chest. In true Mommy fashion, I’ve made up my own verse and sing it to you for every nap you take and every night I prepare you for bedtime.

You are my Cohen, my sweetest Cohen.

And our God has a plan for you,

He knit and formed you, in Mommy’s womb

And He knows all the hairs on your head

As I sing those words I can’t help but gaze at your still tiny hands, your piercing blue eyes, your itty bitty ears, and your perfect lips. In the midst of my fears and concerns about your pregnancy, our Father was creating a tiny little being with intricacy, purpose, and design. He created and knows each and every blonde-ish, reddish, brownish hair on your head, and He determined the sweet almond shape of your eyes, the length of those toes, the dimple in your cheek, and the length of those eyelashes. Even more than that, He’s given you a personality that genuinely loves people and delights in making them smile. He’s created your very being, your soul, your spirit, your heart – for HIS purpose. Discovering your personality is like uncovering a gem, sweet son, and you make my role as a Mommy more precious and joyful than I ever knew it could be. 

I can’t wait to see the plans God has for you, for I know they’re plans to prosper you and not harm you. I can’t wait to hear your voice say, “Mommy, I love you” for the first time, and I can’t wait to hold your chubby little hand in mine as we walk. You’re the most precious gift from God, and I pray every day to be a good steward of that gift – continually hoping that I can point you back to Him. I love you with all of my heart, sweet Bear.

You are so very loved, my sweet son. Daddy and I are head over heels for you and are so proud of the little boy you’re becoming. Even more than that though, your Heavenly Father loves you. And where Daddy and I will fail – we’ll sin in our anger, we’ll not always be the example of Christianity you deserve, we’ll make unwise choices, we’ll say things we don’t mean, and we’ll turn our backs to God to choose sin. Where we fail, we earnestly pray that our Abba Father will show you his perfect, loving, disciplining, guiding, wise, purposeful, and faithful fatherhood to you.

Happy 1st birthday, sweet Bear. We love you, cherish you, appreciate you, and adore you.

Love,

Mommy & Daddy

 

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One thought on “a letter to bear

  1. I can’t believe it has been a year. Thank you for allowing me to share in two of the most intimate times of your life, the births of your boys. I hope today is a fantastic day for your family. Give your little Bear a hug from me and give his big brother a kiss from his North Carolina grandma. We miss you all so much but we praise God for how He is using your family in Texas. Love to all of you from the Smith family!!!

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